After going going going on adrenaline and rage for the last week, I feel like I hit the wall today. It’s been a mixture of deep frustration, overweening sadness, and exhaustion. I’m just tired. And I know that it’s too early to be this tired — there are dark days ahead for my country, and I decided when I woke up on November 9 that I was in this for the long haul.
But I’m tired.
I’m tired of white fragility. I’m tired of the refusal of my fellow White Liberals to confront their privilege, to do the most basic of work to politicize themselves, to face up to their classism and their complicity in systems of oppression.
I’m tired of seeing marginalized people being talked over and tone policed by their self-professed allies. I’m tired of seeing people I care about who are in deep pain being asked, yet again, to educate those who can’t be arsed to educate themselves.
I’m tired of the smugness of Bernie Bros and the gloating of Trumpians.
And while I’m in some ways grateful that I am tired instead of terrified, I also have a level of fear underneath all this exhaustion and anger.
I will keep going because it’s what I said I would do. I will keep going because it is the right thing to do.
I don’t have any answers today.